Fando and Lis

by Fernando Arrabal 

(Second Draft of Bart Smet)

 

Characters:

Lis: A woman in a pram.

Fando: The man who takes her to Tar,

and the three men under the umbrella:

Namur

Mitaro

Toso

 

A play in five scenes.

 

[47]

First Scene

 

[Fando and Lis sit on the ground. Next to them is a very large pram, black, old and tattered, with thick rubber wheels and rusty spokes. On the sides, attached with strings, we can see a certain number of objects, amongst which there are a drum, a rolled up blanket, a fishing rod, a leather bag, and a pan. Lis has her two legs paralysed.]

 

Lis:   But I will die and nobody will remember me.

Fando:   [Very tender.] No, Lis, I will remember you and I will come and see you in the cemetery with a flower and a dog.

 

[Long pause. Fando looks at Lis.]

 

Fando:   [Moved.]   And at your funeral I will softly sing the song: “What a beautiful funeral. What a beautiful funeral.” That tune is so easy to hold. [He looks at her quietly and adds satisfied:] I will do that for you.

[48]

Lis:   You love me so much.

Fando:   But I’d rather you don’t die. [Pause.] I will be so sad, the day you die.

Lis:   You will be sad? Why?

Fando:   [Apologising.] I don’t know.

Lis:   You only say that because you’ve heard someone else saying it. And that means you won’t be sad. You’re always deceiving me.

Fando:   No Lis, I’m honest. I will be very sad.

Lis:   Will you cry?

Fando:   I’ll do my best, but I don’t know if I will be able to.

Lis:   Don’t know if I will be able to. Don’t know if I will be able to. Do you think that’s an answer?

Fando:   Believe me, Lis.

Lis:   But, believe what?

Fando:   [Thinking.] I don’t know exactly. Just tell me you believe me.

Lis:   [As an automaton.] I believe you.

Fando:   That’s not in the right tone.

Lis:   [Cheerfully.] I believe you.

Fando:   That’s not right either, Lis. [Humble.] Lis, when you want to, you know very well how to say things.

Lis:   [In a different tone, still not sincere.] I believe you.

Fando:   [Discouraged.] No, Lis, no. Not like that. Try it again.

Lis:   [Puts in an effort, but her words do not sound more sincere than before.] I believe you.

Fando:   [Very sad.] No, no Lis. What are you doing? How nasty you are to me! Try a bit harder.

Lis:   [Not reaching her goal.] I believe you.

Fando:   [Violently.] No, no that’s not it.

Lis:     [In a desperate effort.] I believe you.

Fando:   [Even more violent.] And neither like that.

Lis:   [Sincere.] I believe you.

Fando:   [Emotional, touched.] Lis! You believe me?

Lis:   [Touched herself.] Yes, I believe you.

Fando:   Oh, I’m so happy, Lis!

[49]

Lis:  I believe you because when you talk, you resemble a rabbit and when you sleep with me you let me take the whole blanket and you catch cold.

Fando:   That’s nothing.

Lis:   And especially because in the morning you wash me by the fountain and because, like that, I don’t have to do it. You know, I don’t like doing it.

Fando:   [After a pause, with a resolute air.] Lis, I want to do lots of things for you.

Lis:   How many?

Fando:   [He thinks.] As many as possible.

Lis:   OK, then what you have to do is, to fight for your life.

Fando:   That’s very difficult.

Lis:   That’s the only thing you could do for me.

Fando:     Fight for my life? What are you talking about? [A moment.] You are not joking are you? [Very serious.] But, Lis, I don’t understand why I should fight and maybe then if I did know, I might not have the necessary strength, and if I’d have the strength, I don’t know if it would help me to succeed.

Lis:   Fando, make an effort.

Fando:   Make an effort? [Pause.] Maybe that will be easier.

Lis:   We have to agree.

Fando:   And you are sure that will help us?

Lis:   Almost sure.

Fando:   [Thinks.] But help us how?

Lis:   It doesn’t matter, what counts is, that it helps.

Fando:   Everything is so simple for you.

Lis:   No, for me too, everything is very difficult.

Fando:   But you find a solution for everything.

Lis:   No, I never find solutions, what happens is, that I lie when I say that I found one.

Fando:   But, that’s not fair.

Lis:   I know it’s not fair. But, since I’m never asked anything, it doesn’t make any difference. And anyway, it makes me look good.

[50]

Fando:   Yes, you’re right, it does. But, what if someone asks you something?

Lis:    There is no danger. Nobody asks me anything. They are all too busy looking for a way to lie to themselves.

Fando:   Oh. It’s so complicated.

Lis:   Yes, very.

Fando:  [Emotional.] You are so clever, Lis.

Lis:   But that is no good to me, you always make me suffer.

Fando:   No, Lis, I don’t make you suffer, quite the opposite.

Lis:   You do, remember how you beat me as soon as you get the opportunity.

Fando:   [Ashamed.] It’s true. I won’t do it again, you’ll see.

Lis:   You always say you won’t do it again and then you torture me as soon as you can and you tell me that you’ll tie me up with a chain so I can’t move anymore. You make me cry.

Fando:   [Very tender.] I made you cry and maybe even just when you had your period. Lis, no, I will never do it again. [Pause.] When we arrive in Tar, I’ll buy a small boat and I’ll take you to see the river. You want that, Lis?

Lis:   Yes, Fando.

Fando:   And I will feel all your sorrows, Lis, so that you can really see, that I don’t want to make you suffer. [Pause.] And also, I’ll have babies, like you.

Lis:   [Touched.] You’re so good.

Fando:   Shall I tell you some lovely stories, like that one about a man driving a paralysed woman to Tar in a little pram?

Lis:   Take me for a walk first.

Fando:   Yes, Lis. [Fando takes Lis in his arms and walks her around the stage.] Look, Lis, how beautiful the country side and the road are.

Lis:   Yes, they please me very much.

Fando:   Look at the stones.

Lis:   Yes, Fando, what beautiful stones.

[51]

Fando:     Look at the flowers.

Lis:   There are no flowers, Fando.

Fando:   [Violently.] Whatever. Look at the flowers!

Lis:   I’m telling you there are no flowers.

 

[Lis talks in a very humble voice, Fando, on the other hand becomes more and more commanding and brutal.]

 

Fando:   I told you to look at the flowers! [He screams.] Or didn’t you understand me?

Lis:   I did, Fando, I’m sorry. [Long pause.] How I regret being paralysed.

Fando:   It’s a good thing that you are paralysed, this way, I am the one walking you around.

 

[Fando grows tired of holding Lis and the more tired he gets, the more violent he becomes.]

 

Lis:     [Very softly, out of fear of displeasing Fando.] How beautiful the country side is with its flowers and beautiful trees.

Fando:   [Irritated.] Where do you see trees?

Lis:   [Softly.] That’s what they say, the country side with its beautiful trees.

 

[Pause.]

 

Fando:   You’re too heavy.

 

[Fando, without any warning drops Lis on the ground.]

[52]

Lis:   [Cry of pain.] Ouch, Fando. [Then immediately very softly, out of fear of displeasing Fando.] You’ve hurt me.

Fando:   [Harshly.] Are you going to start complaining again?

Lis:   [Close to tears.] No, I’m not complaining. Thank you, Fando. [Pause.] But I’d like it if you would walk me to the country side and showed me the lovely flowers.

 

[Fando, visibly bored, takes Lis by the leg and drags her across the stage.]

 

Fando:   Right then, you see them now, the flowers you wanted to see? Hey? Say than. You’ve seen enough?

Lis:   [She is sobbing but makes sure that Fando can’t hear her. She is clearly suffering a lot.] Yes … yes …thank you, Fando.

Fando:   Where do you want me to carry you? To the pram?

Lis:   Yes, if that doesn’t bother you.

 

[Fando grabs Lis by a hand and drags her close to the pram.]

 

Fando:   [Visibly bored.] I have to do everything for you and you just keep crying on top of that.

Lis:   I’m sorry, Fando.

 

[She sobs.]

 

Fando:   One beautiful day, I’ll abandon you and I’ll go very far away from you.

Lis:   [Cries.] No, Fando, Don’t leave me, I only have you in the world.

[53]

Fando:   You just bother me. [He shouts.] And stop crying.

Lis:   [Puts in an effort not to cry.] I’m not crying.

Fando:   Stop crying, I’m telling you. I’ll go right now if you don’t stop.

 

[Lis, despite her efforts, continues to cry.]

 

Fando:   [Very annoyed.] Oh, so you’re just going to cry and cry then, hey? Well then, I’m leaving right now and I’m never coming back.

 

[Fando leaves, furious. After a few moments he returns on all fours and moves towards where Lis is.]

 

Fando:   [Humble.] Lis, forgive me.

 

[Fando takes Lis in her arms and kisses her. Then he sits her up, comfortably. She lets herself being handled without saying a word.]

 

Fando:   I won’t be mean to you anymore.

Lis:   You’re so good, Fando.

Fando:   Yes, Lis. You’ll see how I’ll be nice from now on.

Lis:   Yes, Fando.

Fando:     Tell me what you want.

Lis:   To get on our way to Tar.

Fando:   We’ll leave right now.

 

[Fando very carefully takes Lis in his arms and places her in the pram.]

[54]

Fando:   But we’ve tried for so long to reach Tar and we never managed.

Lis:   We’ll try one more time.

Fando:   Ok, Lis, as you like.

 

[Fando pushes the pram, which slowly begins to cross the stage. Lis, seated, looks over the back of the stage. Fando suddenly stops, moves in front of Lis and strokes her face with both hands. Pause.]

 

Fando:    I’m sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean to upset you.

Lis:   I know, Fando.

Fando:   Have faith in me, I won’t do it again.

Lis:   Yes, I have faith in you. You are always very good to me. I remember you sending me big letters when I was in hospital, so I could boast I was receiving very long ones.

Fando:   [Flattered.] That was nothing.

Lis:   I remember as well that, quite often, because you had nothing to tell me, you send me lots of tissues so the letter would be really thick.

Fando:  It was nothing, really.

Lis:   I was so happy.

Fando:   You see, you have to trust me.

Lis:   Yes, Fando, I trust you.

 

[The pram exits the stage, pushed by Fando.]

 

 

Curtain

 

 

 

 

[55]

 

 

Second Scene

 

[Same place.

Dusk. Fando enters the stage, pushing the pram in which Lis sits. He stops. Slowly and very carefully, he picks up Lis out of the vehicle and places her on the ground. A big metal chain keeps one of her legs tied to the vehicle. The chain is fairly long. Fando talks now in a soft, desperate voice.]

 

Fando:   Lis, I am very tired. I’m going to rest for a minute.

 

[Lis looks distracted.]

 

Fando:   I just said that I am tired and that I’m going to sit down for a minute.

 

[Lis looks at him without expression, nods.]

 

[56]

 

Fando:   Do you want something? Tell me if you want something.

 

[Lis doesn’t answer.]

 

Fando:   Talk to me, Lis, don’t stay quiet, say something to me. I know what it is, you are angry with me because we didn’t get one step further after such a long march and we’re back in the same place.

 

[You would say, Lis didn’t hear a thing.]

 

Fando:   Lis, answer me. [Imploring.] Do you want something? Lis, talk to me.

 

[Fando keeps talking in an imploring and sad voice.]

 

Fando:   Do you want me to move you? Are you not comfortable like this?

 

[Lis doesn’t answer. Lis doesn’t show the least interest in Fando.]

 

Fando:   I know what it is. You want me to move you.

 

[Fando, carefully moves her around. She lets it happen. He treats her with a lot of attention.]

[57]

Fando:   You’ll be better like this.

 

[Fando holds her cheeks in his hands and looks at her enthusiastically.]

 

Fando:   How beautiful you are, Lis.

 

[Fando kisses her. Lis still doesn’t move.]

 

Fando:   But, tell me something, Lis. Talk to me. Are you bored? Do you want me to play the drum for you? [Fando looks at Lis, waiting for a reply, and then adds contently:] Yes, I believe you want me to play the drum.

 

[Pleased, Fando walks to the pram, takes the little drum and places it on the top of his belly.]

 

Fando:   What do you want me to play?

 

[Lis keeps quiet. Silence.]

 

Fando:   Well then, I will play the tune of the feather. Fine for you? [Silence.] Or would you rather that I’d play the tune of the feather?

 

[Silence. Lis doesn’t answer.]

 

Fando:   As you wish.

[58]

[But he stops. He is about to begin playing the drum.]

 

Fando:   I’m ashamed, Lis. [Silence.] Well, but I will try, for you, and I will play, for you, the tune of the feather, which you like so much.

 

[He is about to start but then decides not to.]

 

Fando:   [Ashamed.] I regret knowing no other songs than the tune of the feather.

 

[Pause. Then straight away sets about playing the drum in a clumsy manner, while he sings out of tune the following song:]

 

The feather was in the bed.

And the bed was in the feather. [Repeat.]

 

[When he finished he says to Lis:]

 

Fando:   Did you like it, Lis?

 

[Lis doesn’t say anything. Fando, very hurt, moves towards the pram to put the drum back. Before putting it away, he looks at Lis, He grabs full of enthusiasm the drum again and starts playing again. He glances at Lis, from the corner of his eye, but notices his music leaves her indifferent. Discouraged, he abandons the drum somewhere near the pram.]

[59]

Fando:   [Sadder than ever.] Talk to me, Lis, talk to me. Tell me something. How do you want us to keep going on, if you don’t talk to me? I am getting so tired. I feel like I am all alone. Talk to me Lis. Say something, tell me anything, even if it is something ugly and bad, but tell me something. You know all too well how to talk when you want to. Lis, don’t forget me. [Pause.] I’ll take you to Tar. [Pause.] Sometimes you become so quiet and I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I don’t know if you’re hungry, or if you want flowers or if you want to piss. Of course, I might be wrong, I know very well that you don’t owe me anything and even that you might be angry with me, but that’s not a reason not to talk to me. [Pause.] I know how much you want to go to Tar. I’ve put you in the little pram and I’ll take you there. Whatever gets in our way, I just want to do what you like most. [Silence.] But, talk to me, Lis.

 

[Lis looks without expression. Enter three men: Mitaro, Namur and Toso. Namur walks between his two friends and caries a big black umbrella that covers all three. They form one single unit. They stop far from Fando and Lis to examine the surroundings without paying the least attention to them. After their research, very particular when it comes to Mitaro and Namur, who go as far as sniffing the earth, they reunite again, all three under the umbrella.]

 

Toso:   Yes, we could easily sleep here.

Mitaro:   But first, we have to know where the wind comes from.

 

[He wets his finger and sticks it up in the air.]

 

Namur:   That doesn’t matter. What’s important is to know where it is going.

[60]

Toso:   Let’s us lie down under the umbrella and go to sleep and leave that wind palaver alone.

Mitaro:   [Hurt.] You are always so inattentive.

Namur:   If we’d listen to you we’d be dead by now.

Mitaro:   Dead or even worse, because of his cursed mania of not taking any precautions.

Toso:   [Stubborn.] I believe what is important is to sleep.

Mitaro:   What’s important is where the wind comes from.

Namur:   [Correcting him gently.] No, what’s important is to know where it is going.

Mitaro:   I continue to assert that what is important, is to know where the wind comes from.

Namur:   Well then, I do not want to come over uncompromising, I do not want to be like Toso. As you like.

Mitaro:   [Very pleased.] So, we are saying, what is important is to know where the wind comes from?

Namur:   [Forthcoming.] Indeed, knowing where the wind comes from. [After a short pause, he adds in a lower voice.] And where it goes after it has come.

Toso:   [interrupting.] For as far as I am concerned, you can say what you like, it seems to me what is really important is to go to sleep as quickly as possible.

Mitaro:     [Very angry.] And that’s it, there is nothing easier, just going to sleep, and then?

Namur:   Yes, yes, and then what?

Toso:   Then … we’ll see.

Mitaro:   We’ll see! This is how the worst catastrophes come about, by not looking ahead, because one hasn’t taken the slightest precaution.

Namur:   Exactly, exactly. After all, how long will it take us to take precautions? Hardly one minute. The risk we will avoid doing that? Enormous.

Mitaro:   Well said.

Toso:   But I, it tires me to take precautions.

[61]

Mitaro:   It tires the gentleman.

Toso:   And also, it is very difficult.

Mitaro:   He’ll say next that he cannot put in the slightest effort.

Toso:   It’s not a small effort, it’s huge.

Mitaro:   The gentleman might catch a hernia.

Namur:   Maybe he is right. The effort of gaining foresight is enormous and very complicated. And taking the essential precautions becomes almost impossible.

Mitaro:   Yes, I submit to the evidence. It’s an enormous effort, but immediate, an effort that won’t take long.

Namur:   Won’t take long? That depends on how you look upon it.

Mitaro:   Don’t start telling me your stories now. I remember very well what you told me the other day, that two simultaneous phenomenon to a terrestrial observer, are not so to a planetary observer. From that you deduced that this simultaneity is relative and consequently, time also is relative. And I told you that I believed it as much as I believe in Father Christmas.

Namur:   The only thing that I am telling you is that the effort won’t take long.

Mitaro:   [Angry and not knowing what to say, shuts up. Then he says:] But we’ve gone astray of the core question which was to know where the wind comes from.

Namur:   Yes, that’s true, we were trying to find out where the wind comes from … [Adding in a lower voice.] … to find out where it is going to.

Mitaro:   We were simply trying to take precautions to be able to go to sleep peacefully and immediately, when Toso said that what’s important is to go to sleep.

Toso:   But …

Namur:   [Interrupting in an undignified voice.] Toso, admit that up till now, you have stopped us from sleeping with your arguing and your lack of solidarity towards our positions.

 

[Toso keeps quite.]

[62]

Mitaro:   Not one single moment did you stop to study intelligently our position, instead you dissociated yourself from our point of view in a manner inconsiderate and destructive.

Toso:   All I said was that what matters was to go to sleep under the umbrella as quickly as possible.

Namur:   [Outraged.] The nerve. You still dare to acknowledge it cynically without asking our pardon. In your place, my face would turn red with shame. We are still having an argument, because of you.

Mitaro:   Oh yes, by your fault alone.

Namur:   You can see that I renounced my first position, by supporting that the important thing is to know where the wind comes from, to the advantage of a faster agreement that will facilitate us to settle quicker while, just touched upon in passing, as firm as the nose stands in the centre of the face, that what really matters is to know where the wind goes to.

Mitaro:   [laughing but incisive.] Without wanting to contradict you too much, you would like it to be clearly noted that what matters is to know where the wind comes from.

Namur:   [Trying to laugh smile to hide his anger.] I permit myself to add that everyone agrees to recognise that what matters is to know where the wind goes to.

 

[Fando, who has followed the conversation of the three men under the umbrella, intrigued, moves towards them.]

 

Fando:   [Ashamed.] Sorry, pardon me. How beautiful it is from there. [He points towards where he stood before.] To hear your argument! How good you are at it. Would you let me join the discussion?

 

[The three men under the umbrella look at each other, very annoyed.]

[63]

Fando:   Let me argue with you. [Pause.] She doesn’t want to talk with me and me, I would like to tell an awful lot of things to someone. I’m alone.

 

[The three men, very angry, slump to the ground, under the umbrella and begin to sleep.]

 

Fando:   [Humble.] I can do a lot of things. I can help you if you talk to me. [Pause. He continues, a bit ashamed.] I can also play the drum. [He laughs timidly.] Not very well, but I know some good songs like the tune of the feather. You’ll see.

 

[Fando goes looking for his drum. The men sleep conscientiously, one of them snores.]

 

Fando:   [While placing the drum in the required position.] I will play and sing for you but at the explicit condition that you will talk to me. [He goes towards them.] Don’t you hear me? [Fando realises that they have gone to sleep. Sad, he returns to Lis.] They didn’t pay any attention to me. They didn’t want to listen to me, Lis. I have a lot of things to tell them, and was about to sing to them the tune of the feather.

 

[Silence. Lis continues not to see him.]

 

Fando:   [To Lis, softly.] Lis, you are better than them. You can say such beautiful things. Talk to me.

 

[Lis stays quiet. Long silence.]

[64]

Fando:   Shall I do a show for you to satisfy you? Shall I do some tricks, acrobatics, he?

 

[Lis stays quiet. Fando executes a series of exercises, which are a mix of ballet, capers, clownery and drunken gestures. Finally, standing on one leg, he rests his elbow on the knee of his other leg while with his hand he bites his thumb and exclaims cries of joy.]

 

Fando:   See how difficult it is, Lis. Look, how difficult.

 

[Lis stays quiet. Fando, quiet and discouraged stops his act. He moves towards Lis and walks around her, full off grief. Silence.]

 

Fando:   [Says in a sad tone, but without crying.] Talk to me, Lis. Talk to me.

 

 

Curtain

 

 

 

 

 

 

[65]

 

Third Scene

 

[Same place

The men under the umbrella (Namur, Mitaro, Toso) are talking to Fando. Lis sits, a few metres away from them, in her pram.]

 

Namur:   And there the numerous years that we have tried to do it.

Fando:   I have heard that it is impossible to get there.

Namur:   No, it is not that it is impossible. It’s simply that nobody ever arrived there and nobody ever thinks of getting there.

Mitaro:   That what is not so complicated is, is trying it.

Fando:   So, her and me, we’ll never get there?

Mitaro:   You’re in a better position than us. You have a little pram. That will make it easier to travel and faster.

Fando:   Yes, of course, I go faster, but I always end up at the same place.

[66]

Mitaro:   Same happens to us. We are clearly bound for Tar, but we always end up at the same place.

Namur:   But that’s not the worst inconvenience we’ve come across. The worst is without a doubt that we never take any precautions.

Mitaro:   Yes, Namur is right, that’s the worst. How we would have advanced if we had taken precautions.

Toso:   [Annoyed.] Oh, you again with your precautions. I have told you already that, what is important is to continue our way.

Namur:   [Sorry.] Let’s be quite clear, what stops us from getting to Tar, is him, Toso, with his habitual spirit of contradiction, his habitual refusal to join us in how we look upon things.

Mitaro:   It is not that we, Namur and I, think the same or have the same ideas, but at the end of the day, we come to agree, but him … It is his fault if we haven’t arrived at Tar yet. Yesterday, without exaggerating …

Namur:   [Cuts him short.] Oh yes, the story of the wind and the need to sleep.

Mitaro:   Yes, that’s it. That’s it.

Fando:   [Overcome by enthusiasm.] Oh, how well you discuss. How beautiful it is.

Namur:   [Ironic.] Yes, yes, beautiful.

Mitaro:   Didn’t you hear what we said?

Fando:   I did, but I didn’t pay any attention, I only heard the music. The beautiful music. [Singing.] A Didi A Dodo Padading Padang Eeep eep.

Namur:   You’re right, that must have been beautiful.

Fando:   From over there, it was a joy to hear.

Mitaro:   It’s annoying: all good hearing it from afar, it’s melodious, but what comes of that?

Namur:   Worse, the worst.

Mitaro:   We cannot avoid that he is the crack in our union. He’s a pig, without a doubt.

Namur:   Worse than a pig.

[67]

[Fando thinks. Silence.]

 

Fando:   [Intervening.] What did you ask? If there is something worse than a pig, or what is better than a pig?

Namur:   Well, well look at this, looks like this gentleman here knows a thing or two about the animal kingdom.

Fando:   No, All I am asking is, if what he’s looking for [Points at Mitaro.] are animals better or worse than pigs.

Mitaro:   [After a long pause.] I can’t remember.

Namur:   [Telling off?] Always so forgetful and such a philanthropist.

Mitaro:   [Annoyed.] You see how you always try to insult me. [He thinks.] To teach you, to rile you, I remember all too well what I asked you, that is to say which animals are worse than a pig and which are those that are better.

Fando:   [Very happy, talks hurriedly.] I know, I know. The worse are the lion, the cockraoch, the goat and the cat, and the better ones are the cow, the hare, the sheep the parakeet and the kangaroo.

Namur:   The kangaroo?

Fando:   Yes, the kangaroo.

Namur:   Did you say that the kangaroo is worse?

Fando:   [A bit ashamed.] Yes, yes.

Namur:   And you are sure of that?

Fando:   [Hesitant.] yes.

Namur:   But … sure, sure?

Fando:    [Worn out.] You put things in such a way that you start to make me doubt.

Namur:   [Cruel.] But sure, sure, sure.

Fando:   [In tears.] You are too strong.

Mitaro:   [To Namur, telling him off.] You made him cry.

Namur:   But that character there isn’t sure of anything and he allows himself affirmations that are pure …

Mitaro:   You made him cry as if he was a man going to Tar with a woman in a pram.

[68]

Fando:   [Apologetic.] But I only cried a little, two tears.

Toso:   [Stubborn.] I believe that what we need to do is argue less and try to get to Tar.

Mitaro:   [Satisfied and hurt.] Look at the man, he is always like this. When we are about to get going, when we arrived at that point of agreement, he says something stupid.

Namur:   He is unbearable.

Fando:   And why do you tolerate him in your company?

Namur:   That would take ages to explain.

Mitaro:   An eternity.

Toso:   [Inflexible.] Stop the arguing and let’s go to Tar.

Mitaro:   [Reprimanding Toso.] So, this is how you help us? We are trying to end this discussion with this man here so we can go to Tar and what do you do? You bother us, you annoy us day and night.

Namur:   You are so negative and antisocial.

Mitaro:   [To Fando.] You see, it’s regrettable. Don’t you think?

Fando:   Yes, really.

 

[Silence.]

 

Mitaro:   You, you are really lucky with her.

Fando:   Yes, really. She doesn’t bother me at all. She’s charming.

Mitaro:   Lucky you.

Fando:   Come and have a look.

 

[Mitaro and Namur go and look at Lis with Fando. Lis, her big eyes open, is absent minded and lets things happen without the slightest reaction.]

[69]

Fando:   [Enthusiastic.] Look at her.

 

[Fando takes her head and shows it from different angles, saying:]

 

Fando:   Look how beautiful she is.

Mitaro:   Yes, she is very beautiful.

Fando:   Bend down, so you can have a better look from down there, in perspective.

 

[Mitaro and Namur, crouch while looking at Lis. Fando keeps moving her in different positions.]

 

Fando:   Come here, you’ll see how beautiful it is.

 

[The two men come closer to the pram.]

 

Fando:   See how beautiful her legs are and how soft the material of her underwear is. Touch it.

 

[Mitaro and Namur touch her underwear.]

 

Mitaro:  It’s true, what soft material.

Fando:   [Very satisfied.] See how her thighs are pale and soft.

 

[Fando lifts her underwear so the men can see her thighs.]

[70]

Mitaro:   It’s true, how pale and soft they are.

 

[Fando straightens her underwear, with a lot of care.]

 

Fando:  What I love the most is to kiss her. Her face is very soft. It’s a pleasure to stroke it. Stroke it.

Mitaro:   Right now?

Fando:   Yes, stroke her like this.

 

[Fando take Lis’ face between both her hands and lets them tenderly glide of her cheeks.]

 

Fando:   Try it, stroke her. You’ll see how nice it is.

 

[Mitaro strokes her face with one hand.]

 

Fando:   No, with both hands.

 

[Mitaro, full of respect, strokes her.]

 

Fando:   Well, how did that feel?

Mitaro:   Very nice.

Fando:   You to. [He beckons Namur.]

 

[Namur strokes her.]

[71]

Fando:   And kiss her, like this.

 

[Fando, quickly kisses Lis on the lips.]

 

Fando:   Do it, you’ll see how nice it is.

 

[Namur and Mitaro kiss Lis on the lips, full of respect. Lis remains expressionless.]

 

Fando:   Well, did that please you?

Namur and Mitaro:   Yes, very much.

Fando:   [Very pleased.] Well then, she’s my fiancée.

Mitaro:   Forever?

Fando:   Yes, forever.

Mitaro:   And you will never grow tired of her?

Toso:   [Interrupting.] When are we going to go to Tar?

Mitaro:   [After a short pause.] You see what he is like?

Fando:   Yes.

Namur:   He never lets us finish.

Toso:   Well, what I am saying is that we should get us going to Tar as quickly as possible.

Mitaro:   [Indulgent.] Forgive his shortcomings. He is like that. He was born like that. There is nothing we can do to cure him.

Namur:   You can’t teach him anything, it’s useless. As soon as we start to do something he is there with his complications. He doesn’t let us come to an agreement.

Fando:   But maybe he is right to say that it would be good for us to get going.

Namur:   Right? Right, you may be right, there is always some somewhere.

Mitaro:   You’ll have to agree he doesn’t talk nonsense.

[71]

Namur:   It’s true, if we look at it from up close, he might be a bit right, not a lot, of course, but maybe a little.

Mitaro:   It is for us maybe the greatest inconvenience. I’ll explain myself: we always find a smidgen of reason even if it is farfetched, in anything he says.

Namur:   Very farfetched.

Mitaro:   Yes, yes. Very farfetched, but, that is, we always find some. It’s because of that, even when we judge his propositions absurd and obstructive, we always accept them, we discuss them and even force ourselves to make him look at the good and bad sides.

Toso:   What I think, is that we should get going to Tar.

Namur:   [Very satisfied.] You see?

Mitaro:   [Equally satisfied.] Can you believe it?

Fando:   Yes, yes, I see.

Mitaro:   And it would be so simple for him to keep quiet.

Fando:   It’s simple to keep quiet?

Mitaro:   I am not saying that you shouldn’t take the required precautions and even have the experience, but truth be said, if you really try, you could come to keep yourself quiet.

Fando:   Oh well, I tried once … and don’t think it’s all that easy.

Namur:   Ah! What an interesting man! All the things he has done.

Mitaro:   And where did it get you, when you tried?

Fando:   [All red.] It’s a bit funny.

Mitaro:   Tell us. Tell us. Ah! This is so interesting.

Namur:   What happened? What did you do?

Fando:   I woke up in the morning and I said to myself: “Today, all day long, I will keep quiet.”

Namur:   [In order to understand, repeats out loud.] He woke up in the morning and said to himself: “Today, all day long, I will keep quiet.”

Fando:   [Continues.] So, I …

[73]

Namur:   [Again interrupting.] But, there is something that I don’t really understand: you told us that you tried not to say anything for the whole day, how did you tell yourself?

Mitaro:   Don’t be stupid. He told himself mentally.

Namur:   Ah! That changes everything.

Mitaro:   Go on. Go on. I am captivated.

Fando:   So, after I decided not to talk, I started to think about what I could do to compensate for my silence and started to walk back and forth.

Namur:   You must have felt very pleased.

Fando:   In the beginning, yes, I just walked on and on. But then it became worse.

 

[Fando stops.]

 

Namur:   [Very interested.] What happened?

Mitaro:   Go on. Go on.

Fando:   No, I won’t tell you: it’s very personal.

Namur:   And you are going to leave us like this, all curious?

Fando:   It would be better if I’d stop talking now … the story has a bad ending.

Namur:   Really bad?

Fando:   [About to burst into tears.] Yes, yes, very bad.

Namur:   What a shame.

Mitaro:   It’s true. That’s so sad!

Toso:   It would be better if we would get going to Tar.

 

[Silence and disquiet.]

 

Mitaro:   You see now, why insist?

Fando:   Yes, yes, really.

[74]

Mitaro:   That’s what I like most about you. You understood us. Because, sometimes, we don’t even understand ourselves. The other day we encountered someone else who went to Tar and who insisted on always proving him right.

Fando:   I saw immediately that you were right and not him. From the moment you told those stories about the wind, I understood.

Mitaro:   How did you understand so quickly?

Fando:   It’s easy for me. I told myself …

Namur:   [Interrupting.] Mentally?

Mitaro:   Of course, my friend.

Namur:   [astonished.] What a phenomenon! How he talks to himself mentally.

Fando:   So I said to myself: the first one who says “where” will be right and because it was you who said it before him, I knew he was wrong.

Namur:   [Enthusiastic.] That’s a good method of find out who is right.

Fando:   Yes, it’s fantastic.

Namur:   And you use it all the time?

Fando:   Almost all the time.

Mitaro:   Then you must have a lot of experience.

Fando:   Oh yes, loads. Although sometimes I use different systems.

Namur:   [Blown over.] Different systems?

Fando:   [Flattered.] But of course.

Namur:   This man overflows with inventions.

Mitaro:   Going through all that bother to know where right is to be found.

Fando:   Since I was a kid I used infallible systems to recognise it.

Namur:   That’s what we should have done and not wasted our time as we did.

Mitaro:   This is not the time to bemoan ourselves.

Namur:   [Annoyed.] Oh, of course. [Pause.] And what other procedures did you use to know who is right?

Fando:   I have used another one with the days of the week, but it’s very complicated.

[75]

Mitaro:   [Interested.] How does it work?

Fando:   Like this. On days that are multiples of three, men with glasses are right. Even numbered days give mothers right and on the days that end with a zero, nobody is right.

Mitaro:   [Enthused.] Isn’t that just fantastic?

Fando:   But very complicated. You have to be sure about the day and not be mistaken. That was why sometimes I’ve said someone was right when he was wrong.

Mitaro:   [Alarmed.] Ah. That’s bad.

Fando:   Very bad. Quite often that stopped my nails from growing.

Mitaro:   I can see why you prefer your current system.

Fando:   It’s simpler, if you take a closer look at it.

Namur:   Simpler? And what if nobody says the word “where”?

Fando:   I have thought of everything. If after five minutes nobody has said the word “where”, I give right to the first one who says “fly”.

Mitaro:   [Astonished.] Very thorough.

Fando:   [Satisfied.] Yes, yes, without a doubt. It is a very thorough system.

Namur:   And what if nobody says the word “fly”?

Fando:   Then I replace it with the word “tree”.

Mitaro:   [Astonished.] What foresight.

Fando:   [Flattered.] Yes, well, I can’t complain.

Namur:   And what if nobody says the word “tree”?

Fando:   Then I give right to the first one who says the word “water”.

Mitaro:   [Completely bowled over.] Blast! What anticipation.

Fando:   [Very satisfied.] I always prefer to do something thoroughly. In the long run it proves better even if in the beginning it is more tiring.

Namur:   [Horrible.] And what if nobody says the word “tree”?

 

[Fando and Mitaro look at Namur with a grudge. Silence. Namur is ashamed.]

[75]

Namur:   I’m only asking what happens if nobody says the word “tree”. I didn’t mean to insult him.

Mitaro:   [Embarrassed.] Not just insult him, you seem to have something against him.

Namur:   [Stunned.] Alright then, I didn’t ask anything.

Mitaro:   Much better, so.

Namur:   [Whispering.] But I know all too well that if nobody says the word “tree” the whole system fails.

Mitaro:   [Outraged.] You are as stubborn as Toso.

Fando:   It doesn’t matter because I have anticipated that as well. If nobody says the word “tree” I will give right to the first one who says … [Hesitates.] who says … the word … the word … “word”.

Namur:   It is all just cheating, you’re just making it up.

Mitaro:   You are embarrassing me, Namur, with your improper behaviour.

Fando:   No, that’s wrong, I’m not making it up.

Namur:   Well then, tell us, when did you try this one out.

Fando:   [Confused.] To be honest, I haven’t tried it yet.

Namur:   [To Mitaro.] You see. You see.

Toso:   [Interrupting.] When are we going to get us going to Tar?

 

[Silence. The three look at each other, impressed by Toso’s demand.]

 

Mitaro:   It’s true, we should get going.

Fando:   Will you let me come with you?

Namur:   With us?

Fando:   Yes, with you.

Namur:   I don’t know. We’ll have to see if the three of us agree. [To Mitaro.] You, your opinion?

Mitaro:   [Contemptuous.] Well, if he really wants to.

[77]

Namur:   [Talking into Mitaro’s ear, so Fando can’t hear him.] But consider he will bring along a woman and a pram. We can’t afford us the luxury of such company. It’s too much responsibility.

Mitaro:   But what is that going to do?

Namur:   [Almost constipated.] Pay attention. He is going to hear us. [Fando starts whistling so they think he isn’t listening.] Did you seriously think about all that could happen to us? Think of it. Nothing more, nothing less than a woman and a pram? Do you realize the responsibility that will be put on our shoulders? Do you realize the amount of precautions we will have to take?

Mitaro:   Yes, yes. So what? It’s fine.

Namur:   [Keeps talking in Mitaro’s ear.] It’s fine … it’s fine … so easily said. Don’t come and tell me later that I didn’t warn you. [Out loud, so Fando can hear it, with his bad mood visible despite his forced smile.] So then, you Mitaro, you agree he comes along with us?

Mitaro:   [Annoyed.] How many times do I have to repeat it?

Namur:   Alright, alright. [To Toso.] And you, Toso?

Toso:   All I want, is to get us finally going, it doesn’t matter to me if it is accompanied by this man or not.

Namur:   [Annoyed but smiling.] Well then, we’ve all come to an agreement, you can come with us.

Fando:   Ah! Fantastic.

Mitaro:   Let’s get on our way.

 

[The three men nestle underneath the umbrella as one. Fando places Lis comfortably in the pram.]

 

Fando:   And when will we get there?

Namur:   Nobody knows.

Fando:   I’ve heard saying that nobody ever got there despite just about everybody trying it.

Namur:   Just gossip.

 

[The three men under the umbrella start walking towards the edge of the stage. Fando follows them, pushing the pram with Lis.

 

They slowly exit.]

 

 

 

 

Curtain

 

 

 

 

 

 

[79]

Forth Scene

 

[Same place

Fando enters, pushing the pram with Lis. Fando stops.]

 

Fando:   What’s with you?

Lis:   I’m feeling sick.

Fando:   What do you want me to do, Lis?

Lis:   Help me out of the pram.

 

[Fando takes Lis very carefully and helps her out of the pram. Lis still has a long iron chain around her ankle which is fixed to the pram.]

 

Fando:   Where does it hurt?

Lis:   I don’t know.

Fando:   What is wrong with you?

Lis:   I don’t know.

Fando:   If I knew what was wrong with you, it would be so different.

Lis:   But I feel very ill.

[79]

Fando:     [Very sad.] Don’t die.

Lis:   I feel something is very wrong. I feel ill, Fando.

Fando:   What a shame the men with the umbrella aren’t here. They know a lot of things. I’m sure they would cure you.

Lis:   But they should be still far away. You walked so fast.

Fando:   Yes, I have a good lead over them. [Satisfied.] And we did started at the same time, but then I had the little pram.

Lis:   And again we find ourselves at the same place. We didn’t get anywhere.

Fando:   You are so pessimistic. What matters is that we got here before them.

Lis:    You ran too fast, you went really quick. That speed hasn’t done me any good, I told you that before.

Fando:   [Ashamed.] It’s true, forgive me, Lis.

Lis:   You always ask me to forgive you but you never listen to me.

Fando:   It’s true. I am so mean to you.

 

[Pause.]

 

Lis:   And then you always say that you are going to put handcuffs on me as if the chain wasn’t enough.

Fando:   No, I am not going handcuff you.

 

[Pause.]

 

Lis:   You never listen to me. Do you remember sometimes, when I wasn’t paralysed, you tied me to the bed and you hit me with the belt?

Fando:   I didn’t think that bothered you.

[81]

Lis:   I told you all too well. How many times did I tell you that I couldn’t bare the pain?

Fando:     Lis, forgive me. I will never tie you to the bed again and hit you with a belt. I promise.

Lis: And then you got it in your head to put this chain on me, so I can’t move away from the pram. I can barely crawl.

Fando:   It is true Lis. You should have stopped me.

Lis:   I always tell you to stop, but you never listen to me.

Fando:   Lis, don’t talk so seriously to me, kiss me.

Lis:   [Resigned.] You think you can sort everything like this.

Fando:   You’re tormenting me Lis. [Beaten. Silence. Jolly.] And who am I going give a little smootch on the mouth?

Lis:   Stop joking around, Fando.

Fando:   Lis, don’t tell me off. I know it was my fault, but don’t tell me off. You are going to make me feel very sad.

Lis:    Don’t think you can just sort it out like this.

Fando:   Kiss me, Lis. [Lis, very serious and without expression lets Fando kiss her passionately.] Forget about all these things and stop making me have to think about it.

 

[Silence.]

 

Lis:   Yesterday you got it in your head to leave me all night, naked by the side of the road and it is definitely because of that, why I am feeling sick.

Fando:   But I did it so all the men that walked passed could see you … so everyone could see how beautiful you are.

Lis:   It was so cold. I was shivering.

Fando:   Poor Lis … but these men looked at you and they felt so very happy and surely must have gone on their way so much more cheerful.

[82]

Lis:   But I felt so lonely and I was so cold.

Fando:   I was right next to you. You didn’t see me? And a lot of the men stroked you when I asked them to. [Pause.] I won’t do it again, Lis, I can see you didn’t like it.

Lis:   You always say that.

Fando:   It’s that you are weird sometimes and that you don’t seem to realise that all I do is for your own good. [Pause. He remembers.] You were so beautiful, completely naked. It was a wonderful sight.

Lis:   It’s never that funny to me.

Fando:  No, Lis. What a shame you can’t see yourself through my eyes.

Lis:   Fando, I am very ill, I’m really not feeling well.

Fando:   What do you want me to do for you, Lis?

Lis:   There is nothing you can do about it anymore. [Pause.] What I want is that you would always be nice to me.

Fando:   Yes Lis, I will be nice.

Lis:   Really try.

Fando:   Promise, I will.

 

[Lis notices a bulge in the pocket of Fando.]

 

Lis:    What have you got in your pocket?

Fando:   [Like a child caught doing something silly and trying to hide it.] Something.

Lis:   Tell me what it is.

Fando:   No, no.

Lis:   [Authoritarian.] Show me what you are hiding.

Fando:   It is nothing bad.

Lis:   I told you to show me.

 

[Fando shamefaced pulls steel handcuffs out of his pockets.]

 

[83]

Lis:   You see: Handcuffs.

Fando:   But is not to do something wrong, it’s just for playing.

Lis:   You see. You are just waiting for one moment, when I am not looking, to put them on.

Fando:   No. Lis, I won’t put them on you.

Lis:   Then throw them away.

Fando:   [Aggressive.] No.

 

[He puts them back in his pocket.]

 

Lis:   [Close to tears.] You see how you treat me.

Fando:   [Very emotional.] Lis, don’t cry. Lis, I love you so much. Don’t cry, Lis.

 

[Lis grabs him passionately.]

 

Lis:   Don’t leave me Fando, I only have you. Don’t treat me so bad.

Fando:   [Touched.] How mean I am to you. You will see that I will be sweet from now on.

Lis:    Hold me in your arms, Fando, hold me in your arms.

 

[They embrace passionately.]

 

Lis:   I feel really bad.

Fando:   You will soon get better and then we’ll go to Tar and we will be very happy and I will give you all the animals that crawl on the ground to play with. Cockroaches, beetles, butterflies, little mice, toads … we will sing together and I will play drums for you every day.

[84]

 

Lis:   Yes Fando, we will be very happy.

Fando:   And we will continue our route to Tar.

Lis:   That’s it, to Tar.

Fando:   Yes, yes, the two of us together.

 

[Pause. They look at each other.]

 

Fando:   And when we arrive at Tar, you will see how happy we will be.

Lis:   You’re so good, you are, Fando and how sweet you are with me.

Fando:   Yes Lis, I will do anything for you, because I love you very much.

 

[Fando moves towards the pram and very carefully detaches the drum. Then, full of respect he shows it to Lis.]

 

Fando:   Look at the drum, Lis.

Lis:   It’s so beautiful.

Fando:   See how round it is.

Lis:  It’s true, so round.

Fando:   Well, I have it just to sing songs for you.

Lis:   You are so good.

Fando:   We will be so happy when we arrive in Tar. I’ll invent new songs for you.

Lis:   That feather tune is very beautiful.

Fando:   [Flattered.] Bah, that’s nothing. I will invent others, much more beautiful. Others where [85] I won’t just talk about feathers, but also, [he thinks] about bird feathers, and also about …, feathers of eagles and also [he tries but can’t think of anything.] …and also …

Lis:   And also about feather markets.

Fando:   [Pleased.] Yes, yes, and also about feather markets and also about … about … about … ah, and also about feathers.

Lis:   Such beautiful songs!

Fando:   I’ll do all that for you.

Lis:   You would do that for me?

Fando:   Yes, Lis.

Lis:   You’re so good, Fando.

 

[Pause. Fando suddenly pulls out the handcuffs and looks at them nervously.]

 

Lis:   [Softly.] Don’t hurt me.

Fando:   [Very harsh.] What makes you think I will hurt you?

Lis:   [Softly.] Don’t talk to me like that, Fando.

Fando:     [Very angry, he stands up and answers her.] I always talk to you in the same way.

Lis:   What are you trying to do?

Fando:   [Violently.] Nothing.

Lis:   You are, you are looking to do something wrong. I can see it.

Fando:   [Violently.] You and your stories.

Lis:   [Humble.] I know you want to put those handcuffs on me. Don’t do it Fando.

 

[She sobs.]

 

Fando:   [Sour.] Don’t cry.

Lis:   [Trying not to cry.] No, I won’t cry, but don’t put those handcuffs on.

[86]

Fando:   [Irritated.] You never trust me.

Lis:   [Softly.] No I do trust you. [Sincerely she adds.] I believe you.

 

[Fando takes a few steps in between the pram and Lis. She cries.]

 

Fando:   [Authoritarian.] Give me your hands.

Lis:   No, don’t it, Fando, don’t handcuff me.

 

[Lis holds her hands out. Fando nervously puts the handcuffs on.]

 

Fando:   It’s better like this.

Lis:   Fando. [Very sad.] Fando.

Fando:   I’ve put them on to see if you can crawl with them. So, try crawling.

Lis:   I can’t Fando.

Fando:   Try.

Lis:     Fando, don’t hurt me.

Fando:   [Beyond himself.] I told you to try. Crawl.

 

[Lis tries to crawl, but she can’t. her hands bound by the handcuffs bother her.]

 

Lis:   I can’t, Fando.

Fando:   Try, or worse things will happen to you.

Lis:   [Softly.] Don’t hit me, Fando. Don’t hit me.

Fando:   Try, I said.

[87]

[Lis tries very hard without success.]

 

Lis:   I can’t Fando.

Fando:   Try again.

Lis:   I can’t, Fando. Leave me alone. Don’t hurt me.

Fando:   Try, or even worse things will happen.

Lis:   Don’t hit me, please not with your belt.

Fando:   [Irritated.] Try.

Lis:   I can’t.

 

[Fando goes to the pram to get a leather belt.]

 

Fando:   Try or I’ll beat you.

Lis:   Fando, don’t hit me. I’m ill.

 

[Fando beats Lis violently.]

 

Fando:   Crawl.

 

[Lis puts in an extreme effort to crawl and succeeds. Fando looks at her, trembling with emotion.]

 

Lis:   I can’t. No more.

[88]

Fando:   Go on. Go on.

Lis:   Stop hitting me.

Fando:   Crawl.

 

[Fando hits her again. Lis crawls staggering, doing so she makes a false movement, with her bound hands she bumps into the drum and tears the skin.]

 

Fando:   [Furious.] you broke my drum. You broke my drum.

 

[Fando hits her. She drops, spilling blood. Fando, irritated, takes the drum, walks away from her and starts repairing it with a thread and needle. Lis, stretched out, inert, with her bound hands by her chest, lies in the centre of the stage. Long silence. Fando continues to work. Enter the three men under the umbrella. They approach the woman. They observe her attentively and walk around her. Fando, absorbed in repairing his drum doesn’t see them. They don’t notice him either.]

 

Mitaro:   Look at what she’s got on her hands.

Namur:   [Lifting Lis’ hands to have a good look at the handcuffs.] They’re handcuffs.

Mitaro:   That looks really nice.

Namur:   Not really.

[89]

Mitaro:   Why do you have to contradict me?

Toso:   [Interrupting them in a cold voice.] She has blood on her mouth.

 

[Mitaro and Namur look attentively at the mouth of Lis.]

 

Mitaro:   It’s true.

Namur:   That’s weird.

 

[Namur takes the lips of Lis as if with pincers and opens her mouth. Mitaro puts his finger in her mouth. He pulls it out and sniffs it.]

 

Mitaro:   It smells like blood.

Namur:   How strange is all this.

 

[With his fingers, Mitaro touches her teeth.]

 

Mitaro:   Look how small her teeth are. They are so hard.

Namur:   Teeth are always hard.

 

[Mitaro takes her tongue and pulls it out with his fingers.]

[90]

Mitaro:   Look how beautiful her tongue is. And so soft.

Namur:   Tongues are always like that.

Mitaro:   You always have to say something.

 

[Mitaro and Namur stop fiddling with Lis’ mouth. They lift her skirt and look at her knees with great attention.]

 

Mitaro:    Those knees.

Namur:   Like all knees.

 

[Mitaro follows with his fingers the shape of her knees.]

 

Mitaro:   Look at that dimple here.

 

[Namur notes the presence of the dimple, while Toso presses his ear on her chest and listens attentively.]

 

Toso:   [In a cold voice.] She’s dead.

Mitaro:   Oh, you again with your stories.

Toso:   [Cold.] She’s dead because you can’t hear her heart beating anymore.

Mitaro:   Let’s see!

Toso:   And she has stopped breathing.

[91]

[Namur puts his ear on her chest.]

 

Namur:   Well, it’s true, you can’t hear her heart anymore.

Mitaro:   So, she’s dead, then?

Toso:   No doubt.

Namur:   Someone should tell Fando.

Mitaro:   Of course.

 

 

[Namur and Mitaro move towards Fando who energetically is trying to mend the torn drum.]

 

Namur:   [To Fando.] You know, Lis is dead.

Fando:   [Stunned.] Lis is dead?

Namur:   Yes.

 

[Fando moves towards Lis. He looks at her with respect, very sadly approaches her. He holds her, sits her up. Her head keeps falling, inert. Fando doesn’t say anything. (The three men under the umbrella, standing up and solemn, have taken their hats off.) Fando rests her on the ground with great care, then arranges his mantle. Fando is close to tears. Suddenly he rests his forehead on her belly. Although we don’t hear him, he is probably crying.]

 

 

Curtain

 

 

 

 

 

[93]

Fifth Scene

 

[On stage, the three men under the umbrella.]

 

Mitaro:   He promised her, when she died, he would go and visit her in the cemetery with a flower and a dog.

Namur:   No, that’s not it. What happened was that she told him that she wanted to take her own life and he replied to her that that would be the best thing she could do. So she and her two companions killed the man with the tickets to be able to pay in time for the hire of the box-tricycle. And so they went to buy anchovy sandwiches and paid for hiring it, but the police came to find them and although they didn’t see anything wrong in it, they were arrested.

Mitaro:   Yes, I remember that one of them spend his time sleeping and that he didn’t want to think because it was annoying and so his friend told him that it would be better to think of silly stories and he replied he didn’t know … [He thinks.]. But that is a completely different story. The one I am talking about is the story of the man that drove around a paralysed woman in a pram trying to get to Tar. [94] I remember that he was told that it was very difficult to get to Tar but that they should try anyway, but later on he told her that when they would arrive, he would compose for her a lot of beautiful songs like the one about the feather and that he would accompany them with the drum and then they kissed.

Namur:   No, because then she discovered he was carrying handcuffs around and was going to put them on her. He said it was nothing, but he held on to them. So she got angry with him and told him that …

Mitaro:   No, no, you change everything, you forget everything and you mix everything up. What happened was that after that a police officer arrived, who we didn’t understand all too well and the old flute player told him that he didn’t understand him because he was as bad as his feet and then the other one got really angry. [Pause.] And it was at that moment that those two men arrived, one of which played the harmonium and the other a type writer.

Namur:   Ah, yes, I remember well, they were in a car cemetery. And their lives were really sad because they couldn’t switch their instruments.

Mitaro:   No, no, they could.

Namur:   But that was after. And then straight away the clever man arrived and made them see all that he knew and they just continued to be morons.

Mitaro:   No, no, then, what happened was that she and he started playing at thinking. But since he didn’t know how to take on a good position, he thought really badly and when she showed him what position he should put himself in, he could only think about death.

Toso:   What happened is that we got ourselves under an umbrella and we tried to go to Tar. But you took so long discussing the precautions to take that, after we finally left, we were delayed considerably, as usual.

 

[Namur and Mitaro followed Toso’s words with a clear annoyance.]

[95]

Namur:     [Interrupting him.] And all that to what purpose?

Mitaro:   You see how you always get in our way.

 

[Toso keeps quiet.]

 

Namur:   There is nothing to be done with him.

Mitaro:   We shouldn’t pay any more attention to him. No more than as if he didn’t exist.

Namur:   Where were we?

Mitaro:   I said that he promised to go and see her in the cemetery with a flower and a dog.

Namur:   No before that. What I was telling you was that the young girl became melancholic when she saw she couldn’t play an ass not even with the tail.

Mitaro:   Yes, that’s it, she became melancholic. [Thinks.] But what happened was that she pulled up her skirt to lure the man with the tickets and so the man came and they killed him, while they jumped over the fence.

Namur:   No, my dear old friend, no. What happened was that they couldn’t find a method to classify it all, and, on top of that, they were worried, because she had warned them that if she thought the plan was bad she would tell them regardless of who they were. And so he figured the best thing to do was to measure everything.

 

[Enter Fando with a flower and a dog on a lead. The men under the umbrella stop talking and keep looking at him closely while he crosses the stage, without saying anything, without stopping, slowly. (Maybe he is tired, he looks it.)]

 

Namur:   We’ll join him.

Mitaro:   Yes.

Toso:   And when are we going to Tar?

[96]

Namur:     We have to join him first. Then we’ll get going, the four of us.

Mitaro:   Yes, together.

 

[The three fugitive men under the umbrella start following Fando. In the middle of the stage they stop and take their hats off. Soon enough they get going again and leave the stage.]

 

 

Curtain

 

November December 1955 (Madrid, Paris)